“She was everything to me. She was my soul. You don’t always kill a woman or feel jealousy about a woman or shout at a woman because you hate her. No. Because you love her, that’s love. My wife was the kind of woman you’d never murder in your life, unless it was for love, because of madness, at that moment, at that moment a person loses everything, he doesn’t think, it’s a moment of madness … .” – In the Name of Love
Love Can Be A Madness (A Form Of Insanity)
I just finished reading this book called “Escape From Freedom” (written by Eric Fromm). This is indeed an outstanding and brilliant book that makes you wonder how many people want freedom? I muse for hours on end contemplating, wondering, why so many people want a life where they are just told what to do. I genuinely believe there is nothing more horrifying than a mind that is not conscious of the decisions it makes.
In “Escape From Freedom”, there is a particular chapter in which the author, Eric Fromm, talks about a type of love called “symbiotic love.” He also talks at great length about sadomasochism which greatly adds more insight into what symbiotic love is and how detrimental it is to a healthy relationship.
Symbiotic love is, as Eric Fromm so brilliantly defines it as, is, “part and parcel of another person who directs him, guides him, protects him; who is his life and oxygen as it were”.
This type of love that society has so nauseatingly accepted as love is the main cause for so many unhappy relationships. Furthermore, as we will explore later on, is the cause of this sadistic love that provokes people into harming and killing the very people they claim to love.
In this chapter, he talked about how there are people out there who genuinely view love as hurting and putting down another person.
“I will make you feel like, and treat you as bad as I can. This way – you will forever be mine.”
This kind of love is not too farfetched an idea – as a majority, unfortunately, of the population are in a relationship that is this nightmarish reality.
Even more frightening is this symbiotic love that the person who is being treated badly, undergoes and later accepts. They develop this Stockholm Syndrome.
Emotions Can Be Hazardous and Contagious
This kind of relationship and love is quite prominent in society. These relationships are called toxic relationships and they involve people who stay around each other and treat one another poorly. Why? Because they have become poisoned by their irrational way of thinking.
Emotions, ways of thinking, and feelings are contagious.
In a very famous study case back in 1985 – the highly influential psychologist M. J. Howes discovered that if you placed a person who had severe depression in a room with another person who had no depression or mild depression – the person who had mild depression would start to get as depressed as the individual who had severe depression.
Confusing? Allow me to elucidate.
Emotions – from what she had observed – are like illness that can be caught by others in the same vicinity. Does this sound more like fiction than reality? I think not. Let’s take mob riots for an example. One person goes crazy and that craziness passes on to the next person – and then from there, a whole mob of people loses all semblance of who they were.
This frightening realization becomes even more disturbing when you factor this mindset with love. People who are easily prone to catching the emotional sickness that others have will start to view relationships where fighting, arguing and in certain case plotting or even killing their partner is somehow a sign of love.
“Let’s say I committed this crime, even if I did, it would have to have been because I loved her very much, right?” O.J. Simpson
This disconnect from reality and not seeing other people as individuals is a way of thinking that is associated with sociopaths, narcissists, and the psychopaths. (These three share similar traits but they are not the same.)
There is nothing quite frightening than to have a sociopath find favor or interest in you. Sociopaths have no empathy. That is no hyperbole. They genuinely do not have the chemical makeup in their minds to actually feel empathy.
This is truly horrifying.
Sociopaths can mimic feelings but never FEEL feelings.
Excerpt from “The Sociopath Next Door” (Written By Martha Stout)
“For sociopaths, mimicry is their metier, their bread, and butter.”
Hare once illustrated this for Nicole Kidman, who had invited him to Hollywood to help her prepare for a role as a psychopath in Malice. How, she wondered, could she show the audience there was something fundamentally wrong with her character?
“I said, ‘Here’s a scene that you can use,’ ” Hare says. ” ‘You’re walking down a street and there’s an accident. A car has hit a child in the crosswalk. A crowd of people gathers round. You walk up, the child’s lying on the ground and there’s blood running all over the place. You get a little blood on your shoes and you look down and say, “Oh shit.” You look over at the child, kind of interested, but you’re not repelled or horrified. You’re just interested. Then you look at the mother, and you’re really fascinated by the mother, who’s emoting, crying out, doing all these different things. After a few minutes, you turn away and go back to your house. You go into the bathroom and practice mimicking the facial expressions of the mother.’ ” He then pauses and says, “That’s the psychopath: somebody who doesn’t understand what’s going on emotionally, but understands that something important has happened.” – The Sociopath Next Door by Martha Stout
Sociopaths, psychopaths, and narcissist have very charismatic auras. They know how to swoon women and people around them into being and doing what they want. Why? Because they understand emotions – despite not having emotions.
As a result, they are able to play people’s emotions like a fiddle. They can keep people in toxic relationships where all they do is abuse, use and misuse their partner. They can do this because they understand emotions better than people who have emotions.
However, what is scary, and why I keep abusing this phrase “that sociopath and psychopaths are much scary than any monsters in a movie”, is the fact that this is a reality.
There are many people in the world who are so selfish and so self-absorbed that when they think someone they are in love with doesn’t reciprocate the feelings they desire – they will lose their heads.
“If I can’t have you then no one can.”
Certain places in the world are notorious for having people throw acid in other people’s faces because they happened to be turned down or were rejected. Let me repeat that.
You have people throwing acid in people’s faces because they were turned down/rejected; because someone said… “No.”
I have mentioned in some of my posts already that people who have no level, or a minute amount, of cognition, are to be wary around. But people who have no level of empathy for others and who only think they deserve good things in life are far worse. These beings are some of the most frightening creatures in existence, and I say this as no insult to them.
As I have traveled the world, studied psychology, specifically evolutionary psychology, it is becoming more evident to myself that we are not that far apart from the rest of our animal counterparts on this planet.
The idea that a person can harm, and in some cases kill, someone because they LOVE THEM is such a bizarre way of thinking that makes me muse for hours on end at the twisted dichotomous nature that is called the human being.
Zombies, ghost, monster, demons, all are creatures that pale in comparison on the “scary meter” when it comes to what people who never build their cognition, as well as empathy, are capable of doing.
And with love being injected into their hearts and minds, with love shutting off reasoning and other cognitive parts of the brain, to be loved by the sociopath and toxic lover is a frightening experience; as beings like them need constant attention.
“If I can’t have you, then no one can.”
Very few words like this have sent chills down my spine.
“No one can hate you more than someone who used to love you.” ― Rick Riordan