Sometimes, our holiday wishes come true—mine sure did. Even though technically I had made this wish before Easter rolled around.
But anyway, yes, it’s true—our wishes sometimes get granted on the holidays. Consider, for example, the wish of little Nicholas, the mentally challenged boy, who wished for his mom’s boyfriend to die a long, slow death and for his father to come back from the dead. See? Miracles do happen. But I have a wish too.
The movie opens as too few movies do—with a man in a bunny mask shooting and killing a convenience store clerk.
We see the title card for less than one second, and then it’s off to a tender family centered on Mindy and her retarded son Nicholas, about to celebrate Easter, which Nicolas is obsessed with. Mindy’s new boyfriend, Remington, shows up, and we are instantly aware that he was the dude who shot the clerk. Still, he seems like a tender guy, at least until he wakes up and prowls through the house (in a Speedo!) and threatens Nicolas with violent death.
Incidentally, Nicolas meets up with a seemingly-leprous homeless man who gives him the “real Easter Bunny” (which is pretty cute) and tells him a message about how the Easter Bunny “punishes” bad boys. Director Ferrin, you do know you’re not making Silent Night, Deadly Night, yes?
Halfway through the movie we reach an interesting point. Mindy is out of the house for work. Remington (nice name, by the way) invites over his creeper friend. This friend is, despite being a complete monster, hilarious. Fat, asthmatic, and clad in a Hawaiian shirt, Rem’s seemingly-nameless friend is a child-molester who brings with him a case full of pills, syringes, and dildos (!) and then proceeds to chase down Nicolas, wheezing his name the whole time, until a bunny-mask man stabs him in the eye and kills him with a power drill.
Here the movie changes from a semi-innocent banal slasher to pure trash. And my, is it wonderful. Hookers! Cocaine! Boobs! Toilets! Farting noises! Comic book writer Alan Moore! (I think.) Insane twist endings! And here’s where I made my wish and watched it come true before my eyes…
See, I’m swiftly beginning to comprehend the history of trash cinema. It has been a quest, since I first saw I Eat Your Skin. After that, I began to accumulate my viewing into an obsession. From my point of observation, trash cinema ran its course into the 1990s before it petered out.
Men like David “The Rock” Nelson and Todd Sheets carry trash on past that point, with films like The Giant Horny Toad Monster (2010) and Nightmare Asylum (1992), but the thought of true crap-cinema ever reanimating seems unlikely. Then, I run into movies like Easter Bunny, Kill! Kill!
Original. Hateful. Respectful and yet sleazy. Dark. Hilarious. Gory. Weird. Insane. It’s like the old days.
That second half is what matters. Pure, uncut, fantastic trash for the whole family (well, no) served up for the 21st Century. Is it wrong to say I’m in love? It’s possible.
All I have to say is—you must see this film. At all costs. Even if it’s not Easter. Trust me. It will make your wishes come true.